Allowed to speak when spoken to

There is only so much I can do for a broken heart,
before the next option I have
is to let it be broken.
You can't fix what wills to continue broken.
an unrepented mind will forever choose its own way,
broken heart with fixation of grief
let alone its hearts beat,
to sound like a clock,
ticking away,
thudding in the empy hollows of the empty chest
where once life could flow unimpeded
stem the flow now again,
timing isn't right,
shallow as it is,
i'll let the dull sullen ache resume its methodical bouncing tune
empty thumping of the broken clock
the clock inside my chest
broken like your heart
you can't fix what isnt yours
you can't fix what doesnt know its broken
you can't fix me, says all of who I am.
no words are needed to let me know
that its easier to live everything out,
then to face the one thing i never want to see again
my reflection in someones face
the face of the one,
the one through whom all i have ever known,
was,
the reward for not existing.
i'll find my place amongst the stars,
and wallow among the misery of the blackness.
my broken heart soaking up the deep black ink of the sky.
I don't need to burn bright,
ill settle for the wreckage of the darkest expanse,
the empty vaccum, that bothers no one.
I will find my identity there,
because i don't have to.
terrified to see myself again,
written on your face
the mistakes of my soul,
the mistakes of my existance.
I'll wait forever for nothing to happen,
while all that matters inside of me is trapped and laughing at its own shadow.
To die and be free, to live and die all day long. why can't i even choose a way out.
Why does every lie sound one millionth of a percent better than the acceptance of my own reality.
God I can't stand listening to the clues of my empty heart.
What do you want me to do? huh? Fix it? fix what?
Why do I have to fix nothing and hope to find something?
Is this some cruel way to find out that even in despair, continuing would of felt better, then trying and finding even more nothing.
At least i had a floor on the bottom of nothing, but now i fall forever
and ever
and ever.
Wake me up when something can finally be true.

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