Decent Into Darkness

 As far as reality goes, I've been farther.

If you could see all and know all for an instant the barriers of your mind would collapse in on you. 

Darkness seems an incompatible mistress and yet for me is the fog from which I emerged found.

Having found what I needed, yet still the pull of the dark, a slender grip, found hold around my waist.

I clawed with desperate hands at the fabric of the reality around me, hoping I would find some purchase. Alas, my feeble attempt held me aloft a floating miasma of disconcerting remembrance.

The pull too strong, I let go.

But unlike before I was intact in my integrity. 

I, my whole being, plunged towards the dark grips pull. 

But this time I faced it gritting my teeth with eyes narrowed in determination.

“I will not be undone again.”

A challenge for the faceless nameless abyss to master.
Let’s just say I went down swinging at nothing.
I felt the evil sneer of some hidden forsaken deity claiming me as another option of unredemption. 

Laughter at my malcontent. Another alleged chosen one splintering and cracking.

“I knew this one wouldn’t make it either.” All of those divine attempts to reign in the new era falling to pieces as they stand to wither and wilt at the hands of the reality of man. Man should have never been used by the divine for anything. “You see Father, you should have sent me instead.” All of that is an old repetitive story that no one cares to hear anymore. For to the chagrin of some old stupid divine being I began to rise from the ground. Amidst the forsaken swarm of disappointment and anger I arose a man, chosen beyond measure, divinely blessed, to be the first among many to display an embodied notion of pure freedom found only in the blessed divinity of Christ. 

My story unfolds. Like a comet flying past the earth giving hope to a lonely boy waiting for a change in his repetitive world. Hope found in a name whispering a song that sounds too much like redemption to pass up. So much hopelessness enmeshed with forsaken desire, the latter as strong as the former. Undefined darkness finds hope in pitiful places. The worst pain an unforsaken soul could ever feel is hope again. Why would this time be any different?

Why would I, some dude from colchester, mean anything in the grand scheme of reality? With the label of Bipolar and 14 days inside of a psych institute, why would I have any divine significance in the story of humankind being played out?

I’ll tell you why, cause fuck the rules. The rules keep us sedated with low expectations. The rules make us see parts of our existence with feelings of shame and guilt. We want, then we tell ourselves lies to make us not want. We partake of the divine insecurity and guilt. We all ride in the passenger seat to a list of ancient rules that we had no part in creating. So why would we expect anything different right?

Trigger warning: Proselytizing 

Freedom in Christ. All it takes is one small task of willful submission to the reality of the divinity of Christ, and then the door opens to unlimited freedom, no more guilt or shame, just authenticity. In compensatory fashion, when the act of willful submission happens unto Christ, you get a shit ton of stuff in return. Freedom, entrance to a new life, The Holy Spirit of God lives inside of you and you get to do dope ass shit together. You get many titles immediately son or daughter of the most high King(prince or princess) in God’s kingdom, Jesus becomes your shepherd-he takes care of your soul. You get to be a co-laborer with a divine entity, your choices good or bad are redeemed and used for God’s purposes. Part of the submission to Christ is he pays for all of the debts you feel you have in regards to wrongful deeds you have done or ever will do. 

All that being said. Do whatever you want but the burden of proof isn’t on me. Freedom in Christ will always be where I am. Even if I had to go through the 5th layer of hell to get to be able to sit here and write this for you. It was worth it. And so are you. You can keep kicking the soccer ball outside of Christ's fold, or you can come in here and join in the real fun.
If anyone wants to know more about my journey or anything in regards to what I said, let's chat, I promise you this Jesus shit is way better than it has seemed for a long time.

Peace,

Daniel