How do I get out of this situation? I feel lost... again

The typical Christian paradigm is one where output for any problem is a hard answer that is vetted grounded and deemed viable. But that breaks down for us young folks in 2018. We face crossroads where accepting a solution offered to us, has a hidden cost that our non-rational brain knows will have a certain soul nullifying effect. It feels easier to accept the words of someone else, then to listen to your own inner voice. And in 2018, it begins to feel more and more like the source of life comes from within us, rather than through the peripheral mind of someone who's prime was anytime before ours.
So the form of your question has a lingering notion of the world of the Christian colossal system that churns out relatively simple answers to the masses rather than guiding people in their individualistic journey.
You don't need more answers that are broadly viable to anyone and everyone. You need to have the tools to find your way in a shifting and churning journey of life. I am more than willing to lead you to find those tools. Just know, the journey to finding yourself is one where stepping out of the flock will almost be necessary. And by stepping out of the flock, I mean breaking your mind away from the comforts of anonymity within a group, and finding your lost soul amongst a scary and nearly overwhelming world.

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